A Different Christmas Story
by Ukkie
Summary: Starsky is lost.


A different Christmas Story

Starsky was alone and it was dark. There was nobody around and no sound was heard. He wondered where he was, nothing looked familiar and he was scared! He tried to call for Hutch but couldn't make a sound. He tried to run but couldn't move! He didn't even know if he was outside or inside. He had no idea where he was or why he was there. He only knew he was tired and he wanted to lie down but he couldn't! 'Strange' he thought 'I can't even feel my body! What's going on and where am I?' He started to panic and tried to call again. No sound came and suddenly he knew: 'I'm dead!' He tried to look around again but he could still see nothing. 'No, I can't be dead' he thought 'Death isn't dark, is it? Death should be light and loving and warm. I am not warm and there's no light! That's it Davey, keep thinking and use whatever is left of your brain. Try to remember what happened before you ended up here' He couldn't remember anything else but being where he was now! 'I can't have been here always. I wouldn't remember Hutch then. But maybe Hutch was here too and he just couldn't see or hear him! And Hutch couldn't hear or see him too because this was a place without sight or sound!'

He really got scared and wondered if this was it for the rest of his existence. He couldn't call it living. Living was something else, that much he could recall!

He was getting tired somehow and deep inside there was a feeling he thought of as pain. It wasn't too bad but it was there! 'It shouldn't be' he thought 'I don't feel anything else but this. Strange. I wonder what will happen next'

'Next 'was a sudden flash of light! Starsky tried to close his eyes but his eyes stayed open. 'Guess I have no eyes here' he thought. It was an amusing thought and if he had been able to laugh he would have .But he couldn't. Nothing physical was possible here.' Well, if I can't call for Hutch maybe I can think him here! No, not here but in my mind. Yes, that's it! I don't want Hutch here but I want him with me in my mind!'

He tried to concentrate on Hutch, his face, his sky blue eyes and his voice! Especially his voice! He missed Hutch talking to him , comforting him and laughing with him! He knew now for sure that he wasn't dead. When you're dead you can't miss people and you don't want them to come for you. 'When you're dead, you're happy where you are' he thought. 'Not longing for your best friend's voice! Not needing him with you because you feel so alone! No, death was kind and took away all pain and grieve and never made you feel lonely!' He was sure of that. He didn't know why , but he was certain that death was welcome when your time came! Now he knew it wasn't his time yet, so he had to go back. But where was back? Back was Hutch!

Another flash of light appeared. It stayed a moment longer than the first time and Starsky tried to see something. For a second he thought he saw Hutch in the distance but then it was dark again. 'Must be my imagination' he thought 'I've been thinking of Hutch the whole time and now I think I can see him' A sharp pain shot through his head!'Hutch!' he cried out but it sounded as a mumble. Still, it was a sound and Starsky realized that things began to change! In the very far distance was a light. So faint that he first thought it was his imagination again .But when he looked a second time it was still there!

'So that's the place I have to go to' he decided and turned towards the light. Strangely enough his body was with him again and he began to feel whole for the first time since he was 'there'. He also felt pain, pain in his head and it was getting worse and worse! It didn't stop him from moving on and slowly he saw the light become brighter. It occurred to him that he didn't walk but floated to the light.' Oh well, as long as I get there it's fine by me' He tried to talk again. "Hutch" It was just a whisper but it was a bit louder than the first time he heard himself! Despite the constant pain in his head he felt better now that he seemed to come closer toward his goal!

Then the light disappeared, leaving darkness behind but not as dark as it was before. And the pain seemed to lessen a bit. ' Be grateful for small favors, Davey! Come on keep going'

Ever so slowly he moved forward , his eyes fixated on the place where he'd seen the light before. There it was again!! It hurt even more this time but he kept going, instinctively knowing that that was the place to go. That Hutch was there!

"Hutch" he screamed this time and to his surprise he heard another voice."Starsk? Are you there buddy? Come on babe, open your eyes. Please!!"

He felt a touch! Somebody touched him! Starsky knew that it could only be Hutch who touched him. So gentle and so hesitant at the same time. A familiar warmth filled his being the moment he recognized the hand on his own. "Hutch" he said again and it sounded better and more like him.

"Starsk" he heard hutch's voice next to his ear and felt the warm breath of the only one he wanted to come back for! Curious if Hutch was really there he opened his eyes. That wasn't as easy as it sounded but he kept trying. Encouraged by Hutch's voice that kept telling him: "Open your eyes Starsk, come on! I know you can do it!" he finally managed to open his eyes and looked right in the face of a very pale, exhausted Hutch! "There you are buddy" Hutch smiled at him and it looked as if he had tears in his eyes. Starsky wondered why and when he opened his mouth to speak he noticed he could really talk again! It was not much more than a whisper but he was talking to Hutch again! "Why?" was the only thing that came out but Hutch understood. "I was real scared this time babe. You wouldn't wake up and nobody knew why" He wiped his hand over his eyes and continued " You fell, decorating your tree, and knocked your head at your table. You've been out since then"

'Wow' Starsky thought 'that's something new! Nobody shot me or knocked me down or poisoned me. I just fell !' He laughed but stopped quickly because his head did not seem to agree with the action. He closed his eyes and asked "How long?"

"Two days" he heard Hutch say with a sigh.

"Is it Christmas yet?' he had to know!

"It's Christmas eve Starsk. You didn't miss a thing!" Hutch laughed softly, knowing how much Starsky loved the holidays.

"I didn't buy you a present yet" Starsky whispered and fell asleep.

"Yes you did, partner" Hutch whispered back "You certainly did!"

He closed his eyes in a silent prayer then looked at his sleeping partner and said: "Merry Christmas Starsk!"


End file.
